


Madness or Love?

by Seven_Artemis



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bondage, Children, Death, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Murder, Possessive Behavior, Smut, Toxic Relationship, Toxic love, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27699701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seven_Artemis/pseuds/Seven_Artemis
Summary: Warning: May be triggering or disturbing. This short fic is about a toxic type of relationship.
Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fan fiction I posted on Wattpad. I brought it over here to AO3 and I’m debating on rewriting it too.

Trapped like a butterfly in a spider's web. _His_ web. I could be consumed, eaten, devoured. Yet as he approached, I didn't struggle. If this was my end, then so be it. However, my end will never approach as long as he was there. He was my savior; he was my destruction.

I was a treasure. His prize. A trophy on a pedestal. That's what his subordinates told me, but I knew. I was nothing more than a past time. An amusing toy that could easily be thrown away. Yet I would never meet that fate, because he knew, it was more interesting to keep a resilient butterfly than to kill it. I was his pet; I was his master.

He was so intoxicating, a drug I keep coming back to. His lips pressed against mine, dominating. Arms around my waist, pulling me in as if there was still space between us. Breathless is how he left me, as his hands explored my curves. The air around us was becoming more suffocatingly hot, but I didn't care. I needed him, desired him, lived off of him.

He drove me to the edge again and again, always stopping right before I tipped over. I couldn't see his face, but I could picture his sneer as he watched me squirm in agony as I begged for release. Sometimes he'll spare mercy, given that I provided enough amusement. Other times, hours would pass as I fade in and out of consciousness from painful pleasure and exhaustion.

* * *

Nightmares haunt me to this day. I was always summoned back to that scene: the color of love painted my surroundings, agonizing screams trapped in my throat, siren choirs in the background, a chilling cold piercing my mind, then a warm embrace.

It wasn't my fault. _**It was my fault.**_ It wasn't because of me. _**I killed them.**_ If he didn't appear in our lives, then they wouldn't have died. _**I'm sorry.**_

I remember them clearly: attractive, strong, kind. They were my role model. I wanted to be like them, and have everything I could ever want fall at my feet. **I wanted to be them.**

They were in love with him, and he appeared in love with them too. I hated that. I could give everything to them because I was happy when they're happy. However, I could not give him up. **I would never give him up to anyone.**

* * *

I know things about him that others don't know. I know he enjoys tea with a wedge of lemon. I know he hates uncleanliness more than anything. I know his ear twitches when he's annoyed. I know he hates spending so much money on gel for his hair. I know he also hates gelling his hair.

I know his ear is his sensitive spot. I know he likes to wash his hair first in the shower. I know all his kinks and fetishes. I know everything about him.

Likewise, he knows everything about me. He knows my dislikes for certain food. He knows I hate reading, but I do so for him. He knows I love his coat.

He knows how to tease me until my breaking point. He knows whenever I'm right on the edge. He knows my neck is my sensitive spot. He knows.

* * *

My eyes saw red when I noticed this witch of a mother trying to steal what's mine. She was clinging to his arm, pushing her breast against him in a disgusting manner. Her face was caked in makeup and nails painted. Her dress couldn't be called a dress with what little it covered.

It was over in an instant. Her head rolled on the floor, eyes wide in shock. I peeled off the trash that was still in contact with what is mine.

"She was important. I needed information from her." I only pouted at his words and snuggled up to him. His stern eyes gazed back at me, unimpressed.

"She was touching what is mine. I'm better. I can get you whatever you need if you just ask." With a sigh, he ran his fingers through my hair, and I knew I won the battle. No matter what I do, he'll forgive me.

* * *

My mind turned blank as I felt the disgustingly sweaty hands touch my body. "Sir~" I cooed seductively. "Payment must be done upfront." The pig immediately hands over a large wad of cash, to which I pocketed in my bra. I was about to coax more money out of him, when he coughed out blood all over my new and expensive lingerie.

I glared at the murderer. "My clothes are ruined because of you!" With an angry huff, I marched away from him towards the bathroom. The previously short hair grew back into my normal long tresses and my line of vision lowered slightly after I released my Nen. I could hear his footsteps following mine, and I purposely made a show out of slamming the bathroom door in his face.

That didn't deter him though, and he simple destroyed the door as I was stripping. His arms wrapped around my waist, one hand dipping lower to my erogenous zone as his lips sucked on my neck. "I'm not in the mood after you ruined my clothes and murdered my piggy bank." Despite my body's protests, I pushed him away in favor of the shower.

"He touched what is mine. He only reaped what he sowed." His fingers traced up my shoulder blades to my neck, where his lips where just moments ago. "So I left a little mark showing you're taken."

* * *

Needless to say, I didn't forgive him until he bought me a few new lingeries a week later. It was amusing to see how annoyed he was that entire week I ignored him. It was only a fair punishment.

He wasn't very pleased with that and sought revenge. Which is how I ended up with my arms tied behind my back, my naked body hanging in the air while bent over, and blindfolded.

It was absolute torture. I wasn't sure how much time had passed. My throat was parched and my stomach empty. My body was abused with pleasure and pain, but like always, never quite enough to tip over.

When it was finally over, my wrists were red from rope burn, my legs so sore that standing was a difficult task, and my stomach feeling deprived of proper nourishment but also full from the seeds he planted inside me.

* * *

It was a strange sight. Seeing him lounge around my home with nothing but sweats on. I know he's rather relaxed around me compared to others, but it always amazes me when I see it.

My legs ached as I dragged myself to the kitchen in search of food. The fridge was empty, but on the counter was a takeout order from my favorite restaurant. When I took a peek inside to see what it was, I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my lips.

It was my favorite meal, which was something he didn't like to eat. The food was clearly meant for me. I took it over to the couch, sitting down next to him with the food on my lap. There was a comfortable silence in the house, save for the TV show in the background.

I'm not sure when, but I fell asleep and when I opened my eyes again, there was a blanket around the both of us. Snuggling my face closer to his chest, I fell back into my slumber.

* * *

I stood by his side as he was in a deep sleep. His expression looked so peaceful that I couldn't resist and kissed him on his tattoo. Walking out of the room, I dismissed the spiders, giving them permission to do what they wished until he wakes up or I summon them.

I felt a sharp pain and ran to the bathroom to vomit. After finding out the disgusting taste, my hand grazed my stomach. Pregnant; I never imagined I would be.

It was a rough year before he opened his eyes. In that time, I had given birth to twin boys with the help of one of the spiders. They were both very quiet compared to what I heard about babies.

The moment I approached him when he woke, his hand shot out and grasped my neck. "W-Who?" In the few seconds before I passed out from exhaustion and lack of oxygen, I heard my children cry out.

* * *

He has absolutely no idea how to take care of children. Yet somehow, the twins are not dead.

Still alive, I got up to see him carrying the twins in his arms. "Before you ask, they're yours." Wincing at the slight hoarseness, I moved to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"I could tell." Silence fell between us until the eldest of the twins cried a little and reached out towards me. With a small smile, I scooped him out of his arms and into mine. Since the two don't like being separated, the youngest began to tear up as well, so I quickly got hold of him as well.

After a few months, carrying the two at the same time without dropping them was a simple task. Dealing with a jealous man at the same time was not quite as simple though. I sighed, "they're your children as well. Don't look so upset." After a kiss on the cheek from me, we both returned to the bed to rest.

* * *

_Do I love him? No. He is mine and that's all there is to it. Anyone who touches him will die. And now, anyone who dares to harm the children that linked is will also be killed. After all, they're my sons. **The three of them are my possessions.**_


	2. Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an explanation on what I wrote

This one-shot with Chrollo describes a toxic relationship. They're both madly in love with each other, to the point where they're destroying each other. Chrollo caused her to become a criminal, but he also saved her, hence: "He was my savior; he was my destruction." He could destroy her if he pleases and she wouldn't mind. However, she knows he won't.

As for the reader, she regards herself as a treasure to his eyes. He's a thief who claims whatever he wants, and she happens to be the prize claimed. The rest of the Phantom Troupe believe she will never be hurt as long as she acts like a "trophy on a pedestal" and doesn't step out of line. However, she knows that if she doesn't keep up her resilient personality, he would get bored and kill her. Since she's only a toy that can be thrown away. Due to this, she feels almost like a pet to him, but like mentioned in the previous paragraph, she is intriguing enough that she holds some power over him like a master.

Her body was one of the reasons Chrollo kept her near. He enjoys teasing her, tormenting her. He is turned on by denial play, because the longer and more agonizing the wait, the tastier the end. It is the same to be said for their relationship. Chrollo believes the longer he keeps up this back and forth toxic relation, the better it'll feel when he decides to kill her.

* * *

We're then brought to the scene that made the reader be accused as a criminal. The room was painted in "the color of love" signaling that the murder was done out of love. The agonizing screams were caused by her guilt and sadness, but they're trapped in her throat because she feels as if she doesn't deserve to scream if she was the murderer. "Siren choirs" is an attempt to make the sound of sirens, typically a sign something is wrong, more beautiful and holy because choirs typically refer to a group of singers who sing in a church. The chilling cold and then warm embrace is a reference to Chrollo's Nen that awakened their reader's Nen.

The next paragraph shows how conflicted the reader is. She blames Chrollo for showing up in their lives. But she also blames herself and apologizes for that.

She really looks up to this gender neutral character. They had everything, meaning wealth, power, looks, and more. This attracted Chrollo, who is a S-ranked thief. They fell in love with Chrollo and he made it appear like he reciprocated the feeling, when he didn't.

The reader who is witnessing everything is jealous. "I wanted to be them" is a clue to her Nen ability. She has the ability to mimic the appearance and Nen of others, although conditions must be fulfilled. "I would never give him up" is just a sign of her obsession with him that caused the future events.

* * *

The next section is about the reader's mother. The reader had brought Chrollo to her place to rest for a bit before their mission. When she left for a bit and came back, Chrollo was trying to get information out of the mother who was smitten by him.

She immediately gets jealous and kills her. In her eyes, the moment her mom touched her man, she became a witch. Someone who is no different from prostitutes in a brothel.

Chrollo is annoyed at first, but ends up forgiving her. Killing a family member is an unforgivable and irrational action in societal norms (well killing is unforgivable but this is more so), which plays to the quote in which there is "madness in love". However, Chrollo forgives her because of her reasoning (which is in my opinion not a suitable justification for her actions), and that plays to there is "reason in madness".

* * *

Now the situation is reversed. It's well known to the other Phantom Troupe members that she loves to lure in wealthy men for money in return for her body. She never lets them past simply touching her skin though.

When Chrollo found out, he was livid and killed the man. This made the reader upset since the blood ruined her new and expensive clothes, and her "piggy bank" was dead. Note that she doesn't particularly care that someone was killed because of her.

Chrollo is a possessive person, just like the reader was shown to be. So he left a hickey on her neck.

Also, as she was marching away, she released her Nen ability. Like hinted at before, she has a copy ability. She mimicked someone else's appearance when she was playing with the wealthy man for money.

* * *

She's different from Chrollo because she doesn't forgive him immediately like he does for her. It's also a show of her power over him, like mentioned in the first section: "I was his master". She ignores him for a week, which really annoyed him until he gave in and bought her new lingeries.

Chrollo is not a kind person. He punished her through his favorite denial play, as well as bondage.

* * *

Even though their relationship is toxic, crazy, and mad, they still do love each other. Neither of the two will ever say it directly, but it's implied in their actions regardless of what they say.

This part only shows Chrollo being more of a typical lover, by getting her her favorite food and getting a blanket for the both of them.

* * *

Chrollo is in a coma in the next section. The reason isn't clear, but he is. In this time, the reader has given birth to twin boys with the help of Machi (who isn't really explicitly mentioned).

When Chrollo wakes up, he accidentally chokes her because his vision is very blurry when he first opened them. No real damage was done though.

* * *

The final story part just wraps up the previous scene. The reader gets up after fainting from being choked, and makes sure Chrollo knows it's his children. However, he is already aware because of instincts as well as the fact that the reader is obsessed with him. There's no way she would have a child with someone else, or else she would've killed it.

* * *

This italicized ending just shows the reader's view. It's emphasized that Chrollo and her twin sons were her property. Being a possessive human, she won't tolerate anyone touching or harming them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading over this again makes me cringe.

**Author's Note:**

> "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche


End file.
